 My Mom’s Personal Divine - Jesus - with his crown chakra flowered. | “Of course you love me, it can’t be any other way,” my Mom said. “God has been working with me. He has shown me so many things. You were here before the foundation of the world. Everyday, I give thanks to God for giving me the honor of being your mother.” She went on to say how everything was planned by God and that we have nothing to be ashamed of. We are all innocent in the sight of God. Those were her comments to me when I told her I love her after having completed the parent process during my first year at Oneness University. I was stunned because my mom had carried shame around since my birth, because I wasn’t the child of her husband. |
As she spoke, I started weeping and kissing her all over her face. She was kissing me too. We were having a literal love fest. In those few minutes, I realized that a profound healing had taken place in mother. She had finally released the charge she had carried for more than 40 years about an affair that she had long ago when she was young. The affair happened before she became an “upstanding Christian woman” whose life was devoted to serving God. She couldn’t put it behind her because my presence had been a constant reminder. Nor could she forgive herself.
My mom’s remarks would have been enough for me, but there is more. A couple of months before I went to OU, my mom had angered me when she said to me: “You are such a good person. You have a kind heart. You are always trying to help people… I just wish you would find God.”
“Mom stop it,” I snapped back at her in a firm voice. “My relationship with God is fine.”
So imagine my surprise when I had a peak experience on the top floor of the temple of Shakti (the Holy spirit). I was giving thanks for an emotional healing I was experiencing, when I saw that everything was connected, all of the experiences - joyful ones, sad ones, the ones that broke my heart open. Everything that happened in my life had led me into that moment; everything, including my mother’s prayers.
I smiled thinking when I get home, I’m going to tell her that I had found God in India. And for that, I owed her a boat-load of gratitude. Whenever she saw me after that, she asked me: “How is your state?” Not exactly the vocabulary of an African American great grandmother. I would look at her amused and think - where did my mother go? Who is that speaking through my mother?
As I had worked on healing my relationship with my mother in India, in Oakland, she had been transformed.
This newly found self-acceptance opened a door for both of us. It deepened our relationship and brought peace between us. My mom passed in November 2012, but not before greeting all of us, giving us her blessings, thanking us for what we had shared, and setting us free.
My mom’s remarks would have been enough for me, but there is more. A couple of months before I went to OU, my mom had angered me when she said to me: “You are such a good person. You have a kind heart. You are always trying to help people… I just wish you would find God.”
“Mom stop it,” I snapped back at her in a firm voice. “My relationship with God is fine.”
So imagine my surprise when I had a peak experience on the top floor of the temple of Shakti (the Holy spirit). I was giving thanks for an emotional healing I was experiencing, when I saw that everything was connected, all of the experiences - joyful ones, sad ones, the ones that broke my heart open. Everything that happened in my life had led me into that moment; everything, including my mother’s prayers.
I smiled thinking when I get home, I’m going to tell her that I had found God in India. And for that, I owed her a boat-load of gratitude. Whenever she saw me after that, she asked me: “How is your state?” Not exactly the vocabulary of an African American great grandmother. I would look at her amused and think - where did my mother go? Who is that speaking through my mother?
As I had worked on healing my relationship with my mother in India, in Oakland, she had been transformed.
This newly found self-acceptance opened a door for both of us. It deepened our relationship and brought peace between us. My mom passed in November 2012, but not before greeting all of us, giving us her blessings, thanking us for what we had shared, and setting us free.
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